7 Dos and Don'ts of Fighting Fair
Steve Berman | HRPeople
March 21, 2011
2. Do: Be honest with your emotions
Sometimes just explaining calmly to the other person why something is bothering you can cut a fight’s time in half or more. Saying something like, “You really hurt my feelings when you forgot to call and let me know where you were,” is a lot more effective than screaming, “Where were you?!?!”
2. Don’t: Cry just because you can
If you’re legitimately driven to tears, there’s nothing you can do. But if you turn on your eye faucets at a moments notice to manipulate your partner, you’re just blackmailing someone emotionally.
3. Do: Treat your partner as a friend
It can be hard if a fight causes you to get angry, but you have to remember that the reason why you’re fighting is that you care about each other. If you didn’t care, you’d both just go your separate ways. Always treat your partner with respect, don’t resort to name-calling or cheap insults as a substitute for making a valid point based on logical reasoning.
Get Into HR with Expert Advice
Learn: Guide to Entering HR
Quiz: Find Your HR Specialty
3. Don’t: Blab about the fight to your friends
Sometimes it’s tempting to bitch about your loved one’s actions to a sympathetic ear, one you know will always back you up – regardless of whether you’re right or wrong. Don’t do it. If you let others in to a fight you have with your partner, your partner won’t trust that your private conversations are actually private, and he/she will feel like they’re being ganged up on. If you’re tempted to run to a friend and complain rather than work out the drama, then perhaps it’s time to think about moving on from that relationship.