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Harassed By A Former Boss?

Harassed By A Former Boss?

November 25, 2009

A reader writes:

I used to be quite good friends with my immediate manager; I met her through her brother, who I was very close to, and for a while we actually lived together. Then it all fell to pieces. On a personal level, we had a falling out (she stole a large amount of liquor from a friend after a party, the second time she’d done this, and when I discovered it, I called her out on it- something I hadn’t done before).

She immediately began taking it out on me at work. We lived together, and till that point had commuted together in her car- now I had to find my own way. She didn’t have hiring or firing power over me, however she found ways to make my job harder, and make me look incompetent.

She developed the habit of eavesdropping at my door when I was on the phone and busting in to scream at me when we were home, so I took to going down the block whenever I had to call someone. Finally, she told me to move out. I thought it was all over, especially after she got a new position at a different company and moved on. I was unofficially promoted, and have been in her old role now for almost eight months.

But it wasn’t over. Since she’s left, she’s waged a personal campaign against me with our mutual friends- this I can handle. What I can’t is when it bleeds into the workplace. She’s stated that the worst thing that ever happened to her was my moving to this city (I moved for my job under her), and that she wants me to die, or failing that, to move away as no one- professionally or personally- wants me here.

She has a good relationship with my boss, who isn’t exactly stable herself, after working together for several years, and still has professional contact with our company, not to mention she’s still working in my field and has contact with many people I deal with in one way or another. She’s approached my boss on several occasions, unsolicited, to express ‘concerns’ over my competency, my behavior, my professionalism, and my ability to do her old job.

She’s sent emails after projects my company did that she was involved with, which she knows, if they were actual concerns, should be sent to me as she used to BE me, to all my other coworkers (it’s a small team), demanding changes after the fact and blaming me for not reading her mind or jumping at her command (in that situation she was a participant, not a client, which meant my judgement was the ruling factor, not her wishes).


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