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Accepting a Job Offer for My Spouse?

Accepting a Job Offer for My Spouse?

Alison Green | Ask A Manager

July 26, 2010

A reader posted the following yesterday in the comments section on a post from February:

My husband was offered a job position where I work. We got into a huge argument today because I wouldn’t do him a favor and call my boss to say he accepts the position. I was telling him how unprofessional and how bad that looks. My husband has not been consistently working since 2002! I just want validation that I made the right call.

I posted my own comment there in response:

Wow. Uh, yeah, you made the right call. You should each handle your own relationship with your employer independently of the other. That’s crazy.

And she then followed up with:

Thank you for validation! He is away this weekend volunteering at a tournament where he can play and stay for free. So we left the weekend on a sour note. Anyway, when he gets home, how should I follow up with him (what would you say)? I feel like my right advice might come out the wrong way! Ugh! He ended the argument with, “fine, I don’t want the job!” He loves to go to the extreme when we disagree.

I kind of want to yell at your husband and wish I could call him. This is just totally, utterly insane.

Frankly, I’m worried about the two of you working at the same company if he doesn’t understand why this is wildly inappropriate. Is this really going to be the only time this kind of issue comes up? (I’m also wondering why he doesn’t want to accept his own job offer — accepting a job offer isn’t exactly difficult work. To say nothing of whatever’s up with him refusing to respect your professional boundaries, even if he disagrees with them.)

In any case, here are the two main points you should make to him:

Next: Advice for Him >>


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